Right now, I wouldn’t say that I’m where I want to be. There are still parts of me that I’m trying to better and habits I’m trying to break. What I can say is that I feel like a different person, in a good way. I’m more outgoing and more comfortable with myself. My friends have told me they enjoy talking to me again and they can tell that I’m happier.
Reflecting over the past two years, one of the minor changes is the amount of pictures I have that include myself. I don’t really remember a time when I enjoyed having my picture taken. When I was in high school I was always behind the camera rather than in front of it. I have tons of pictures of my friends, but not many of myself. I remember the situations and the gatherings, but I don’t have anything to actually show that I was present. When I was in college I hated having my picture taken. I would always scrutinize myself. I never liked how I looked in pictures, but sometimes posted them because of the memories that went along with it or because I thought that “this is the best I can do and I really want to post something.” A lot of the time I was embarrassed. Now, I take almost every opportunity I can to have a picture taken to document an event. Also, I tend to be happy with just one or two photos being taken. I don’t really require checking the picture or having more taken because I don’t like the way I look. Most of the time, if I have a picture retaken, it’s because it is blurry.
On Valentine’s Day, my boss gave me a rose (as well as the other girls in the office). The first thing I did was get my phone to take a picture or ‘selfie,’ My co-worker comes up and says “Did you just take a picture with your rose?” I reply “Of course, what else am I supposed to do when I get a rose? Obviously I need a selfie.” It dawned on me that I haven’t really done things like this before. I would occasionally, but generally I wasn’t a fan. Now, I selfie all the time. Seriously! I don’t
always post it, but it’s something I do.
And this may seem strange, but for me it’s a good thing. This tells me that I am comfortable with who I am and how I look, which is something that I wasn’t before. This tells me that I am more confident, have more self-esteem, have more self-love. So, while my co-worker may think I am strange for taking a selfie with my rose instead of putting it on the desk like everyone else, I think I am stupendous! I love that I have come to love myself.
So, when someone is picking on you for taking a selfie, I say ignore them and SELFIE ON!