Lookin’ Good! Have You Lost Weight?

Lookin’ Good!  Have You Lost Weight?

Lookin’ Good! Have You Lost Weight?

Lately I’ve been listening to a podcast called Run, Selfie, Repeat by Kelly Roberts.  Two episodes I’ve recently listened to (Ep. 16: No More Before And After Photos and Ep. 17: Your Weight Doesn’t Define You) are about working towards a positive body image and how photos or compliments actually work against that goal.  These two episodes really got me thinking about how I view myself and how I viewed myself in the past.

I was never thin in middle school, but I also never saw myself as fat or even bigger. I just thought I was regular.  Just a regular sized person.  I wasn’t concerned with weight or how I looked.  I just wanted to have fun and be with friends.  When other kids did make fun of me, it was more because of how I was acting or something that I said.  No one teased me for being bigger.  However, I remember my mom having me count calories during a bit of that time so I guess I was bigger and it was a bit of a concern.  In high school I wasn’t as concerned with my weight either.  More my boobs because they were freaking HUGE!  I left high school wearing a DDD and they only got bigger in university.  It was kind of a running joke with my friends and me.  One of my friends put my bra on her head and said that my one cup could serve as a helmet if she needed and another was adament that I have a reduction surgery that siphoned the breast tissue from me to her.  None of that bothered me.  But even then I didn’t see myself as bigger.  Just someone who was unfortunate to be overly “blessed.”  I remember one of my friends telling me that “I would be prettier if I lost weight”and that other agreed.  Still, I just thought that I was normal and everything would be fine once I had my reduction.

Now that I’ve had my breast reduction, I feel fat.  Sure, I wanted to lose weight before, but I was really hoping that my breasts would be smaller and then my problems would just go away.  Now that I am proportionate, I don’t have the confidence I thought I would gain after the surgery.  Also, living in South Korea where vanity is what runs everything, I feel huge.  My middle school students who can’t be more than a size 4 jeans are saying they need to be on a diet!  I can’t go to stores here and just buy clothes.  I’m scared to even walk into a store and attempt to look around because I know they won’t have anything my size and there is a chance that someone in the store will insult me.  Yes, shop owners and workers here have been rude to me in the past.  Let me tell you my favorite story..

I was in a cute little shop in my town and I tried on a few items.  The shop owner was kind and tried to help me find things in my size to try on.  I ended up buying a pink shirt and as I was paying she said to me, “You really need to go on a diet so that you can shop in my store. ”  If I hadn’t already paid for the shirt, I would have walked out without anything.  Instead I just looked told her okay, walked out, and never went back.

Since then I’ve gone up and down a lot in my weight and it was really because I wasn’t happy.  There has been a movement of sorts on the internet of people embracing a positive body image.  I’ve read, what feels like, hundreds of blog posts from The Militant Baker and followed Instagram accounts like bodyposipanda.  I’ve reached a place where I feel relatively happy with what I look like.

Working in Korea means that I am judged a lot by how I dress and look on a daily basis.  My coworkers will ask me if I’ve lost weight because I’m looking good.  When I first got here I would say “Yes, I have lost weight.  Thanks for asking!” But now I just say “I don’t know.  I don’t keep track.”  After I decided to eat vegan/vegetarian I was constantly asked if I’ve lost weight.  But in actuality, I hadn’t lost a pound.  That made me realize that I can look better and not lose weight.  I can look healthier and people will notice!  And I don’t mind people noticing that I’m looking better, but I want them to change how they compliment me.  So I’ve made a list of different things people can say to me to compliment me without talking about weight.

  1. You’re looking healthier!
  2. You look so happy today!
  3. You’re looking stronger! Have you been exercising?
  4. You look great today!
  5. You have a positive energy about you today!

So there you go!  If you feel like complimenting me in the future you can say these 5 things 🙂

This post really wasn’t about my running travels and was more of a personal post, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway!  If you haven’t already, you can check out my two other running post about why I’m running and what motivates me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *